Online meetings are pretty run-of-the-mill these days. There’s no need to travel to meet with another human. So, in this post-pandemic world we're all pretty used to logging on, unmuting the mic and engaging online. And therapy sessions are no exception.
This is fantastic news for many. From caring responsibilities and disabilities to the time/cost of travelling and lack of local therapists, having online counselling removes an awful lot of barriers to accessing help.
So, as online therapy is here to stay here are 7 points to think about if you’re considering it:
You’re responsible for keeping it private
Counsellors who work ethically and safely work to a framework that places the client’s interests at the heart of everything and a biggie is confidentiality. For in-person sessions, privacy and confidentiality is taken care of for you: all sessions should take place in a setting where you can’t be overheard and you should be able to engage in counselling without fear of confidentiality being breached.
Online, your counsellor has no control of that: they’re only able to ensure it’s private at their end. This might be difficult for you i.e. if you live in shared accommodation (it’s not unusual for clients to sit in the car, and that’s fine). Headphones are not enough: you need to be able to speak freely and openly, without fear of others listening in to what you say.
Staying connected
For online therapy to run smoothly, you need a stable, reliable connection to the internet. And a back-up plan should things go wrong.
If tech fails:
*Does the therapist have your phone number so they can contact you?
*If it’s a mobile number, does that work if your broadband drops out – do you have mobile data?
*Is your phone charged and to hand when you start a session, just in case?
*If you have to revert to a landline, does the therapist have that number and will the call be overheard by anyone?
Tech, like humans, isn’t infallible. In short: have a Plan B.
Dogs, cats and mini beasts
While you might be able to ensure that there are no other adults within earshot, what about furry friends and little ones?
Imagine the scene: a client’s well-behaved dog is in the room during an online counselling session. But Fido’s eye was caught by foxes outside and he starts to bark incessantly. Eventually it becomes distracting for all: the client loses his train of thought and has to ask someone to take the dog out. Around 15 to 20 minutes of a 50-minute session are lost.
I had a similar scenario when my cat came trotting in with a live rat and proudly dropped his ‘gift’ on the floor under my desk. I ended the meeting to deal with it (thankfully, it wasn’t a counselling session). So, my thoughts are to think carefully about the implications of having a pet in the room. Of course, for well-trained assistance animals it’s a different story.
In the past, I’ve had people querying if their toddler can be present for an online session because they’d been let down on childcare. I respectfully suggested an alternative counselling slot. Other counsellors might disagree – and I know some who have agreed to work with clients with a newborn baby present because that was the only way that client could access counselling help. However, my thoughts would turn to engagement: how ready and able would a client be in terms of being fully present with the counselling process while taking care of a baby at the same time? Would the baby be impacted by any difficult emotions that might arise? For me there are too many variables to consider and for that reason I’d suggest a session at another time.
Are you sitting comfortably?
If you’re sitting with a counsellor face-to-face in a room, you’ll have a chair that’s hopefully comfortable, possibly a glass of water, tissues and the therapist keeping an eye on the clock so that you don’t have to worry about time.
With online therapy it’s good to prepare yourself and the space for counselling. This might look like basic self-care (checking you’re not ill, hungry, needing the loo etc), ensuring the space is at a comfortable temperature and that you’re in the right environment to engage at the level you need to. With online therapy you can keep an eye on the clock, too, if that makes you feel more at ease.
Think about background noise. Lots of people work with the radio or TV on, but that could be distracting during a counselling session. Try to ensure your personal space is quiet and calm. Also consider door distractions: are you expecting deliveries? Can you change the delivery time or place or can you let the door go unanswered during a session? All good things to consider.
Are you happy online?
Be honest with yourself about your thoughts around online counselling. If you’re not tech savvy you might find the actual process of getting online quite stressful. If this is you, think about having a test run with someone who can help you. For others who are very used to working online, the switch from being in work mode to counselling client might feel a bit odd at first. Be prepared for this to happen and if it does, be honest with your counsellor about what’s going on for you: you can work through it together.
Boundaries – normal rules apply
Studies have shown that working online can lead to something counsellors refer to as ‘the disinhibition effect’ where people feel ‘one step removed’ and therefore feel they can do or say things they might not do when engaging with face-to-face counselling. The disinhibition effect can also lead to you feeling that the session is ‘not real life’ or as if the counsellor isn’t quite real so you might find barriers come down more than you might like (or faster than you anticipated), which can lead to feelings of embarrassment.
Some clients find that because they spend a lot of their life online with work, friends and family the boundaries get blurred during online counselling. This might look like using the toilet, texting someone or making your tea while in a session. These things are not appropriate and boundaries will have to be worked on with your counsellor.
The journey can be part of the journey
Travelling to and from a counselling venue gives clients a chance to process both what they wish to bring to sessions and what they take away from it. If you’re having online counselling you might not get the chance to do this. So, how will you allow yourself time and space to process?
When you book online sessions, consider what you might do afterwards: will you be able to go for a walk, journal, do some stretches or allow yourself some space to decompress and process in some other way? What will you do if you feel very upset but have to crack on with work or chores? All things to be considered before you book an appointment.
In summary, online counselling is a wonderful way of accessing help – but it’s not the same as chatting with a friend or taking part in a work meeting and there are a few important things to take into account before you book a session.